Why We Don’t Homeschool
Sep 29
This is a topic I never really considered to discuss; however, it has come up quite a bit lately so I wanted to address it. As believers I think it is good we discuss some things because most of the time when we disagree we are talking pass one another. Ultimately each family has freedom to make this decision on their own. But I will say this, and I am up for correction. Most (I said most not all) Christians who home school, have a condescending disposition against those who don’t. Especially if these two Christians agree fundamentally on most things. Its the disposition that says “you send your kids to public school, don’t you know what that will do to them?”. Likewise those who don’t home school have a “poor kids” type of perspective, as if kids who are home schooled are more likely to be ill equipped socially, these kids are robbed of their childhood, or even worse, they are robbed of a “good” education. I am going to share why we (my wife and I) have decided not to Home School (A view of the Woods 
)
My wife works for the public school system and she loves it, whats even more important she is good at it, and more important than that, she is a believer who loves it and is good at it. Day by day she sees these kids come and go, most of the kids are okay kids, but many are in unstable homes. Their parents don’t care about their education, they don’t care about their education and it shows. Many of these young men and women are never told that they can be something. They have no examples in their home nor in their community. There is a void, a huge void and where an unregenerate heart meets a gaping void, the results are our prison systems, funeral homes and more broken homes.
My wife cares about these kids and she has 8 hours a day to talk with them, meet with them, they can come to her office, many look up to her and she can reinforce a good value system in them (without crossing the freedom of religion line). She can let them know that someone cares and have their best interest at heart, even if that means coming down hard on them for misbehavior. Actually my entire in-lawed family is in education and I am proud of them. They know the financial ceiling, they know the hard work, the flaky parents, the disruptive and disrespectful kids and they go and invest their lives into these children and this job often which drains them of their own emotional health.
If my wife and her family pulls out, then who will be left? Who would care? Who would be at least attempting to fill the void in these young men and women lives? Aren’t we our brothers keeper? Two hours a week at a YMCA may be okay; however, how many of these young men and women will go to the YMCA? Most are going to be turned loose to the streets for Satan to slop em up like honey saturated biscuits. They will be devoured! Consumed! And left for dead.
So then you may ask what does that have to do with my children. Well, that leads to a question. How many kids confide their most intimate details with their teachers? Some, but not most. Since we know Caleb and Joshua have stable homes (and anointed names 
) they are being faithfully discipled (not made to act like Christians but we preach the Gospel to our kids daily) and we are teaching them to be critical and independent thinkers, where else should we send them to make disciples? While some may think we are turning our children over to Caesar, we believe we are turning Caesar over to our children. We want our children to have pagan friends, these kids will come to birthday parties, slumber parties, spend the night and weekends and play sports/do extracurricular things with our children (if our children play sports). And we hope through this that both we and our children can have positive Christ Centered influence and impact on these young men and women.
Listen we trust Christ that when He says “whatever you ask in my name..” I don’t ask for much, but one thing has been my cry before my children were even concieved was that God saves them and saves them young. That they remain sexually pure, remain above the influence of drugs, and that they combat the culture with the power of the Gospel. I believe God is going to do this for us and I already see that both of my children are opinionated, strong willed and stubborn and I am praying that God uses those things for the Gospel.
If I am to be honest, I am not threatened by Caesar nor the Romans he produces. Caleb and Josh will be taught (are being taught) to think critically and to make sound judgments based off what the scripture teaches. Not only that Caleb has already been given the green light to question authority if it doesn’t line up and I already have some vacation days saved up. When something is taught about science, sex, marriage or something else that doesn’t line up, he will know that he should question such things. Is there a risk in sending him there? Sure, but there is a risk wherever he goes. I don’t want my children to feel threatened by culture. I want them to be critical of culture, but to be critically engaged in changing it. Our job is not to surrender the culture over to Satan, but to be salt and light, “subduing” and “cultivating” it for God. You have a greater opportunity to catch fish in a lake than a backyard swimming pool. I am not saying that other believers who choose to home school don’t think this way, I am just saying this is why we have chosen not to home school.
Now if we felt that our children were not getting a good education, were not challenged enough academically, or that their development was somehow threatened then we may choose a different venue. However, my wife has been in public education for 12 years and she has all the confidence in the world that these things are occurring. So I don’t worry about that. We are teaching our children the Gospel daily and I believe we will supplement anything that is lacking. So again these are the reasons why we don’t home school, we are not saying that others should or shouldn’t that isn’t the point of this post. But statements that convey our motives any other way than what I have listed should be labeled as sin.
As a husband of an educator who cares also. Amen!
Homeschooling isn’t for everyone and pub. school isn’t for everyone. Yet we enjoy the freedoms in Christ and our nation to do what does work.
And for that we should not pass judgment on those who don’t do as we do.
My wife has been a public educator for over 10 years and my children have all been in public schools. Without any reprocution. They love it.
And as you described your wife that is how my wife is also.
Amen.
A large part of my testimony of coming to Christ and my marriage that resulted a year later included a Christian husband and wife and their daughter who were not afraid of reaching out to a violent/beligerant/alcoholic/angry/profligate young man headed to an early grave or incarceration. They shared the gospel with me through word and deed, they had me over to eat dinner, to watch TV and movies with them, Gary included me in his wood working projects in his garage. They spent time with me, they were a family to me, they loved me. I don’t know why they did it, sometimes I think I would not have had the courage to do it, but I’m glad they did and I’m glad they are now my parents and my wife. The only family I have ever had.
Oh I forgot to mention the tie in, I met them through public school.
Amen! We homeschool and I would never dare to say such things. I have had the opposite said to me.”why homeschool her?? She will be shelterd, she wont have any social skills, she is the only child, she needs to get out” Uh, people, do you know where I live?? LOL!! Believe me she is not sheltered at all. She has to learn and fight daily on what it means to live counter cultural, what we read in the news happens in my front yard weekly.(hahaha) Its so sad as beleivers we dont give one another the freedom to follow the spririt as HE leads.We gots to take God out of the box…God does not call us all to glorify Him in the same way. If thats ya hearts motives then we all good. geez!
great post bruh!
Amen Nicole!!!! I am 100% for both and we should stop and enjoy the diversity, not build walls because of it!
Hutch,
That is simply heart warming.
Lionel,
Have I exhibited a condescending disposition towards you? I hope not, but be honest.
You make a lot of good points in your points and I really don’t disagree with any of them. But for me and this is just me, I am not ready to put my children into the system.
It appears though that you have good handle on it. I couldn’t do what you do.
Blessings,
Jack
Lionel,
This was well said. As a public school teacher, I share your wife’s sentiments and wouldn’t have it any other way. I am the only light that some of these kids see, and being in an alternative education setting where everyone has given up on these kids really opens my eyes to that. I am also a mother-to-be whose child will be a public school attendee for the same reasons you are sending your sons.
Lionel,
” Excellent thoughts! Your comment to Nicole as well!
Jack,
Heck no! Not at all. This was more Voddie Bauchum, and his supporters. I also engaged somone at Al Mohlers and a Reformed Website. I have been engaged personally also by some people. But no Sir. You and I have always discussed openly and you know even through our differences I have enjoyed my time with you and can’t wait to you come back so we can talk again.
Thanks Aussie J
Vetta,
It is funny how our conversations spark so much of what I write.
That’s because Jeff and I are your conscience
I like public school, but I love home school!
If God allows us to do so, I would love to finish elementary at home with my kids!
I am a 7th grade public school teacher that would have agreed with you 12-18 months ago. I made all of your arguments to those around me as well. I have since been reading John Taylor Gatto’s books and it has been swaying my opinion on the American School System. I love my students and my job, but I see a much truth in his writings. I am not going to choose to home school my children for the sake of keeping them separate from the world but to allow them to learn in an open source style. I do not want my children to be “dumbed down” by the testing strategies and systemization. I am in the trenches, and I see the ratio of teachers teaching to the test climbing because the administration is pushing so heavily. I refuse to teach in such a way, but I am doing it without permission. The interesting data is that my scores rise above those of the teachers that teach to the test.
Just a thought from the other side.
Zgporter,
I actually agree with you. In my second to last paragraph I think I talk about the education process as one reason I definitely would take my kids out of the public school system. As for now my wife is still confident and so is the rest of my family who are involved here in Texas.
BTW How did you find the blog?
Dee,
You know me, if you can take them all the way then do it. I have found some pretty good articles on why and I like most of them, my post really has a context to it. It is really a response to those who say that Christian families that take their kids to public school is going agains the will of God.
I follow daveblackonline.com. He posted a link to your blog.
Ahhh okay Zgporter. He is a lovely fella and he can eat a lot of pancakes
Lionel,
I haven’t been reading you long enough to know, but was wondering how old your children are and also what does Charity think about the coming Common Core State Standards (Note to zgporter: this big business is exactly what Gatto describes happening 100 years ago with Rockefeller, Carnegie, etc). I believe this is a real big step in the wrong direction (along the lines of what zgporter is already describing). I don’t think completely federally-standardized K-12 is going to improve things and will actually be more of a burden to teachers (like NCLB on steroids) and remove what liberty the local communities have left, but it also really opens the pandora’s box to forcing some teachings (could be good or bad) on public schools, future limitations on employment, etc. Imagine adding every social ill that every state is dealing with (because the federal system will have to please everyone) to the existing class/race/academic aptitude -warfare stuff they deal with already when they accept federal funds.
Eric,
16,4,2
Eric,
Maybe you can post something on why you homeschool and we can begin to dialouge about it. I am open to disucssing it.
Jack Watkins,
If you have some good points to make I sure will post it here or link to it. Lets further the discussion.
Lionel,
Good article…We do homeschool, but have only been doing it for about a year and a half…My kids have seen both worlds, as the older two were in public school until 10th grade, and the youngest until 4th grade…A ton has been written on the pros and cons of both, so I won’t belabor the points, but I can say that homeschool has been a treasure hidden in the field for us as a family, and I wish I would have done it much sooner…Blessings to you my friend…
Soli Deo Gloria,
R4C
Lionel, I am with you on this one though I agree each family has the right to respond to the needs of their own children accordingly. I think too the more the parents care about their kids education and get involved, the better the kids will do in the public school system. More parental involvement is key. Blessings!
Brian,
I have an experience that I am going to post about parenting and discipline. The Lord really worked on me today.
In many ways, homeschooling could be defined by a mindset and not the location children receive their education. Homeschooling is in essence parent led education. It is a lot easier to do that “at home” but “homeschoolers” could also have children in public and private institutions.
For example, “homeschoolers” are the parents who checks out all the assignments and then lets the school know which ones their child will not by doing and then self-assign productive/appropriate homework. Homeschoolers are the parents who go on all the field trips as chaperones and turn off the inappropriate video that is playing on the bus ride home from the school Disney Land trip.
Homeschoolers are the parents who organize and run the science fair.
Homeschoolers are the parent who are not afraid to yank their kids out of a class, a school event, or even school itself if something crosses the line.
Homeschoolers are the parent who takes their children to museums, libraries and national parks during the summer and on holidays.
Homeschoolers are the parents with large personal libraries.
Homeschoolers are the parents who customize their children’s education by picking educational formats suited to their individual child. For example, I have a friend who home schooled all of her children initially, but then set one to a private school suited to his specific disability and sent another child to a public school and continued to homeschool the third.
I prefer homeschooling at home and don’t choose to give up the flexibility and family time that other educational options require. I don’t choose to immerse my children in the teen counter-culture that permeates most schools. I don’t choose to delegate my parental authority.
However, some parents do make “school” work very well for their family and other children benefit from it.
Janie,
I like your reasoning sister
“Maybe you can post something on why you homeschool and we can begin to dialogue about it. I am open to discussing it.”
I never said I homeschooled.
I will say a few things and try not to offend. My mother was a chemist turned HS math and chemistry teacher who retired after 22 years in public schools. My sister teaches in the K-6 ranks currently. I had to be won over to this decision, but it was the willingness of my wife coupled with the undeniable success of many that encouraged me to try (because my tradition, family and society said otherwise).
Much of my journey in questioning institutional church/ man’s tradition came afterward in parallels that I saw in questioning the tradition of public schools. We didn’t always have government schools – yet people were educated. How did this country and its people survive from 1607 to roughly the 1880′s with no government school (when did seminary degrees become a requirement)? Why are my children my responsibility to raise, house, feed, clothe, provide medical care for and educate – but suddenly at age 5 the education part is taken away? After teaching them to talk, dress, tie their shoes, eat with a fork, count, color inside the lines, read, suddenly we tell parents they aren’t qualified to teach things they spent 12+ years of their life learning in government schools (we are a kingdom of priests – as long as we have an “undershepherd”). Why?
You will see some that quote Deut. 6:7 as a mandate for homeschooling, but I’m fairly certain He wasn’t talking about biology and algebra. I really don’t believe God cares if we win a spelling bee. Some of these same folks will not see a problem with turning over the biblical training of their children to a “youth leader” (????). Some will scold you for not joining the famous homeschool attorney service so “you will be safe”, rather than encouraging you to learn the laws yourself and rely upon the Lord to be your defender.
You will see folks on both sides use anecdotal evidence to prove their point. Just because my mother was a christian teacher doesn’t mean I can tell Arthur to send his kids to Detroit schools where the dropout rate is over 40%. Just because some couple down in Florida locked their foster children up in dog kennels and claimed to be homeschooling doesn’t mean I can’t teach my son geography.
I have a problem with forcing my neighbors to fork over several thousand dollars per student per year for instruction of my children at the threat of losing their homes via tax liens. I still pay my taxes.
I also believe the public system is inherently flawed. The flaw is this: they are in a position of having to please everybody (the public), which is impossible. Partly because those ‘everybody’ people are spending someone else’s money. If they were coughing up $8-12k per year for the cost for their child, you can believe the parents would be “more involved”. When the community is like-minded (same academic goals, expectations of their children, dress codes, home life, religious beliefs, etc.) it works fine. When they aren’t, it is a least-common-denominator education system. It really is all the time, just the more “diverse” your population gets (and I don’t mean melanin levels), the higher that denominator has to become. I see the Common Core State Standards as the ultimate in this regard, a federal takeover of public education. How will they please the whole country? I also find most people don’t even realize this is coming.
This is all external to the arguments about whether the local public school is good/bad/ugly or the teachers are christian, etc.
There are also many benefits we have found to be very positive, but these are more my philosophical reasons for homeschooling. I believe that educating my children is my responsibility. God has charged me with bringing them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. I don’t think the 3 R’s are necessarily within that mandate and that I have liberty to use whatever method seems best. I believe that foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child and that the companion of fools suffers harm. I don’t think it is wise to saddle a (often times) young, unmarried lady with a room full of fools for the bulk of their day.
But I am a product of that environment.
Eric,
Good points brother
I will say that I didn’t have all those thoughts nine years ago when we began to consider homeschooling (and our oldest was 3). My wife was convicted to do it and I was willing to study it and support her. A lot like what you are doing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fw1s5bOcDs
I appreciate your honesty and this perspective. My husband and I were both public schooled and negatively effected spiritually and academically by the environment. Some of my husbands siblings have been very much deceived by teachings that are contrary to scripture which they learned in their public schooling. While they grew up in a Christian home and of course there is always still hope, in there case, the godly influence of the family did not win out over the godless education they received at school. Our concern is not for parents like you who are obviously aware of the potential downfalls of having your children in public school and are watching for any negative effects, but for professing believers who have their children in public school and are just asleep at the wheel and blind to the entire issue. We know lots of them and they are very defensive when the topic comes up because they don’t want to know the reality until it is too late and their children are lost.
Janie,
You hit the nail on the head for me with:
In many ways, homeschooling could be defined by a mindset and not the location children receive their education.
I intensely considered homeschooling my son, but in the end, I chose to continue him in public school with more of a “homeschooler” frame of mind. My son’s location is down the street, but I am very involved, in the ways you mentioned, both at school and at home. I don’t have a label for this type of education, but your thoughts helped me validate our approach. Perhaps I could call my approach multi-schooling, home-and-school schooling– in the end, I feel best just calling it school– sometimes my son is at public school and sometimes he is at homeschool. In the future, I may move his to his home location full time, but I will base that decision on how well my child is thriving in our current situation.